The Sun And The Moon
by WinchestersOf221B
Summary: An American imagining of Citrus. Ellie was head over heels in love with Celine, but obviously decided to never tell Celine about that. But is that what fate has in mind? (Hint: nope, its not) Pure fluff. Rated so because I'm paranoid. ELLIE IS YUZU AND CELINE IS MEI.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So I've been toying with this idea for a while, and then I read Citrus and finally decided to write it.**

 **I'd love to hear what you think of this story, so please do read and review! Thanks! ^_^**

 **Now on to the story**

* * *

CHAPTER 1

The footsteps trudged down the halls. The doors banged open, then swung shut. The desks creaked. The final bell rang shrilly. And thus, another dreary day of school started.

Well, in my case, it's not dreary, more…frustrating. Frustrating because I was here and Celine was right there, like the embodiment of every male's dreams (and mine, too) with her stunning hazel eyes and that lovely smile and her altogether mesmerizing personality and…and the only catch is, I could not reach out and get her. Never could, never should.

Besides the common problem of being incurably dull and plain, I also had additional problems. Let me list them out to you. First, she is all that is charming and pure yet popular and friendly and everything, while I'm the gloomy resident nerd who no one wants to befriend. Then comes the bigger blow which is, she is sort of my cousin; well, she's my fifth circle cousin by the remarriage of my grandmother - this doesn't mean we aren't close friends, we are thick as thieves - but still! And for the grand finale, we're both girls. However you try to, this is impossible, doomed to failure from the start.

It's like the whole universe is yelling out that she is meant for SO much better than plain ol' me, and I do get it! I really do, but I cannot stop liking her, no matter how hard I try. How hard I'm still trying, for that matter. Well, that isn't a big surprise, considering how I've liked her for at least ten long years now, and my affections haven't ceased a bit so far. Even after seeing her with her handsome, perfect, loving boyfriends and torturing myself over it. Over how it is so natural for those boys to sit with her, gaze at her longingly, touch her, be with her.

But every time she tells me that her current boyfriend isn't The One for her, I just remember trying not to let the relief I feel show on my face, or the fact that I was praising whichever deity decided to take pity on me then (yes, I do know how bad that makes me sound). She's currently in the quest for her new boyfriend, who again, may be The One.

In fact, the only ray of hope in this hell is the fact that she still hasn't found The One for her yet. She told me that she has a certain type in her mind and that no one could match the man of her expectations so far. But she wouldn't tell me what her type was, that tease. Not that I could do anything once I got to know her type, except for curse myself for not being like her type or, a boy in the first place.

"Earth to Ellie! You there?" Celine's angelic voice floated through, breaking me out of my agonizing thoughts. I came back to reality with a startled yelp (way to make me look all attractive in front of Celine, NOT).

"Yeah, Celine, 'sup?" I mumbled, after she finished chuckling at me (what devilry was this? Her very chuckles sent tingles down my spine! Damnit!). I stole a brief glance at her, and then decided to stare at my table instead. Much safer that way.

But would she let me be?

"My hair's a mess! Do something about it!" she said, pulling my face to her direction and making this really adorable puppy-dog-face. She could probably get away with murders with that expression. I tried really desperately to calm my heart and face (and everything else) down. She wasn't the one touching me, it was our grouchy lunch lady. The lunch lady. The lun-

"Ellie, sweetheart, please! It's such an abominable mess! C'mon, please?"

WHY DID SHE SAY SWEETHEART LIKE THAT?! GOD! WHY?!

Have I not been controlling myself? My heart can't take it! Well, yeah, I know that she'd call anyone a sweetheart, including those little kids who live next door to her. I have legit been child-zoned. But does my heart get it? NOPE.

And yeah, she doesn't let anyone touch her hair, but I only got this privilege because I'm her cousin. And because we've been doing each other's hair since we were kids at kindergarten.

"Dude, seriously? Must you always be this irresponsible? What would you have done if I wasn't here?" I lectured, going through the farce of being her 'cousin' as usual. Like I didn't want to run my hands through her hair and revel in the feeling of superiority I get when I'm the only one here who can do this.

"I would probably bunk the first period and go to the washroom to fix my hair, or better yet, ditch school and go home." She said, carelessly.

"Thank god I'm here. You would probably not even go to school if I wasn't here." I shook my head and sighed, but I would be lying if I felt even an ounce of the disappointment I professed. I was elated that she even pretended like she needed me so much, even if it was just as a cousin.

"Fine, just this once," I sighed again, like I haven't repeated these same words a billion times before.

Then I proceeded to give her a side braid, because it's the easiest thing I could manage, and then shooed her away, muttering something along the lines of 'Why do you come to me for hair fixes like I know shit?'. She just laughed her merry laugh and went to her beckoning friends. And so life went on.

I endured another torturous Lunch break watching her boyfriend go possessive caveman on her and put his hands around her waist and doing the sweet, gooey things that all couples do, wishing I was the one there beside her right now. Not that Celine hasn't invited me to sit at her table; she has, several times. It's just that i didn't want to hurt myself too much. Plus, not everyone is as obtuse as Celine is. If anyone figures out that i like her, it's game over for me. So I sat there, wishing for something i will never attain.

Then, after French class was nearly over, she nudged me (be still, my heart) and insisted on coming over to my place for learning whatever went on in class, because she was too bored to listen and just went to sleep discreetly. I argued that it was her fault that she hadn't understood anything, to which she disarmingly smiled and said that I was the best, and then decided that it would be just peachy if we had a sleepover. A FREAKING SLEEPOVER! I again tried to argue that our places were close by (my house is like, two houses away from her's) and she laughed it away. And there went any more resistance from my side. So another night of tossing and turning and definitely not sleeping coming right up!

Sleepovers with Celine are the stuff for nightmares. There are so many times when I've nearly blurted out what I felt, but I made some lame saves at the end. But then, how can she help it? It was entirely my fault for going and loving some who can never be mine.

And so school went by in it's sluggish pace. Then just as I got ready to leave once school got over, I got called in for some student council work (I was pushed into it by my mother). So I told Celine to go home without me, and make herself useful. The girl was a wizard at cleaning up places.

And I went to work, feeling oddly relieved and sad all at once that my time today with Celine was cut short by the work.

* * *

 **Ellie = Yuzu (but not as outgoing and into makeup or boys)**

 **Celine = Mei (but less reserved and more outgoing**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

While I did wish to put off going home for as long as possible, there was not much work to complete at the students council's behest. And there was absolutely no way I wanted to be out and around aimlessly on such a cold day. That, and I did want to see Celine. So I went home.

"Hello sweetums, I heard that you had extra work at school. Celine's over," Mum said as soon as I even stepped into the house.

Mum is a little bit of an airhead and is always cheery and optimistic. Sometimes, even to the point of irritation. Which is why I managed to have Celine over for so long without anyone suspecting a thing. But that is not to say that she isn't attentive or anything, she can be one of those people who can be surprisingly perceptive of things. But well, mostly she's just an airhead.

"Hey, Mum," I greeted her, then went to grab a pack of potato crisps from the kitchen cupboard before heading over to my room. Where Celine would be. In my room. Which is where Celine is. Whe-

Damnit! She isn't even around me now! Why does she affect me so much?!

I tried to clear my head of all the not-at-all-innocent thoughts that were cluttering it up, squared my shoulders and resolutely went up to my room.

"Hey-" I managed, before a blonde streak whizzed by and glomped me.

"You took so long, I was bored," Celine mumbled somewhere near my neck, still clutching me in that bear hug. I was slowly being suffocated, to be honest.

To be even more honest, I didn't really mind being suffocated to death by Celine's hug. But, got to maintain appearances.

"Can't…breathe…" I pushed her away, very reluctantly.

"Ahh, sorry about that," she grinned apologetically, moving away.

"Geez, learn to control yourself, woman," I muttered, shrugging off my backpack.

Let's just ignore my mind screeching please don't go away from me! Come back and hug me to death!

"Yeah, okay," she said, smiling that destructively beautiful smile of hers before trying to grab my packet of potato crisps.

"Those are mine, get yours from the kitchen," I said, shrugging her away purely for the sake of keeping up the appearances.

"I want yours, though," she said, and looked so earnest about it that I got jealous of a BAG OF POTATO CRISPS.

How low have I fallen?

After a bit more pleading, we decided that we'd share. I kept my hand in the bag more often than not though. If I had to choose between getting more chips and getting to touch her skin, I would wholeheartedly choose the latter.

Yeah, I'm so doomed. And yeah, I know I'm pathetic. Oh well.

After that agonizing (for me) Episode with the Potato Crisps, began the next torture lined up for me. It turned out that she was actually interested in knowing what happened today in French class.

And did I mention that she has this extremely distracting habit of sucking on the pen when she concentrates? Or the way she makes this really adorable frown when she learns a new concept? Or how she bits her lower lip when she can't understand a new concept? Or-

Basically, she has those habits, and like I said, DISTRACTING!

"Okay, so the verb goes here and the subject goes…" I finally summarized, praising myself for not giving into the nearly irresistible temptation to just give up on trying to function properly around her and just keep gazing at her.

She looked so goddamn seductive, with all those gestures. Damn, the way she bit her lip, man!

If I was straight, she would have turned me gay. As it is, that is actually what happened.

"Ahhh, that went well," she smiled contentedly, like a cat, while stretching her arms. Ignore the very loud beats my heart made here.

"Ugh, would you at least learn from this time and listen in class?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"Will I? Hmm," she then gave this extremely seductive smile, and leant over to whisper in my ear, "Let's see how it goes next time," and then grinned.

Believe me, I was legit frozen on the spot. How could she do stuff like this? Damnit, this woman was the incarnation of Helen of Troy.

"I'm going to take it as a no," I said, after a long pause during which I managed to gather my extremely scattered wits, then gave a long sigh.

"I give up on you," I said, then yawned.

"Sleepy? Ooh! Let's go sleep now!" WHAT?!

"Us? I sleep and you, go watch TV or something. Or y'know, meddle with your phone," I answered as un-hastily as I could manage.

"Aw, but I wanted to sleep on your bed, and hugging you is so comfy!" she said petulantly.

But does she know what she does to me?! DOES SHE?! NO!

"Thanks, I'm so glad to know that I made a good teddy bear," I said, managing to sound wry and not ecstatic.

"I'm sleeping with you and that's final." She said all imperiously. Here comes the spoilt brat she actually is.

We bickered about it more, but ultimately, she prevailed. Why am I such a pushover? Darn it!

The only good thing is the fact that I don't usually have to share my bed with her at night. I am quite adamant on having my bed to myself. How am I supposed to hide the dark circles I'm sure to get if she SLEEPS on MY bed with ME?

So, well, I can't begrudge her wanting to sleep on my bed just this once. At least I can lie on the same bed as her, even if I have to forgo my precious sleep because of Celine hugging me. Praise the small miracles in life.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I was wearing my favorite dress, a pretty thing with strawberries and cupcakes and all that. My shoes were absolutely dirtied. My mum was going to have an apoplectic fit over the state of my shoes, and very soon, my dress and myself.

But did my six year old self care? Not a whit.

I'd brought with me my favorite spade, a shiny, red one that I had to throw a huge tantrum to get. It has been my trusted companion in all my endeavors to find the Treasure in the disappointingly Treasure-free sandbox in the local park. Mommy had gone home at my insistence, because I was a Big Girl and I could definitely take care of myself. Then I began the thankless task of finding Treasure. Today the sandbox would finally have my Treasure. Then I can become the Queen of the Park and get unlimited chocolates and ice creams!

"Hey, look here, the Loser is digging up dirt again!" a voice sounded from behind me.

I whirled around, clutching my spade tightly. That voice belonged to Josh Matthews, the local bully. He hated all kids who weren't his friends. And I wasn't his friend. Need I elaborate?

"I-I'm going to f-f-find Tre-Treasure today! And I won't give you ANY of it!" I declared, trying to get rid of my nervousness.

I was surprisingly brave back then, my current self thought, then continued to watch the drama unfold.

"F-f-find w-w-what?" Josh mocked, while his cronies guffawed at me.

"Ooh, pwincess feels shy!" Tommy Ford called from the gang. Josh and Tommy hated me with an almost equal fervor. That probably was because I had tripped Tommy by mistake and Tommy just had to land on Josh's back. All of this happened like, a year ago. Couldn't they give me a break?

Apparently, no.

"You are a stupid donkey," I declared, raising my chin defiantly.

I knew I would pay dearly for this bit of impudence, but I still wanted to declare that I was not backing down without a fight.

"Oh, yeah?" They sneered, before ganging up. Oh god, the bullying was going to start again. All because I couldn't control my tongue and not piss them off.

The punishments they came up with were like them, childish and pointless and utterly stupid. But to the younger me, these boys distorted to become my personal demons, leering down at me and crowding all around me, seeking only to choke out the few joys in my life.

"D-do-don't come any cl-closer!" I almost screeched out, trying very hard to unsuccessfully act calm.

"Heh, pwincess thinks that the baddies would wisten to her," Josh jeered at me.

One boy came closer, no doubt to throw the fistful of sand he had at me, but Tommy caught his shirt and pulled him back, saying, "Don't go near her, she has cooties!"

The boys all started grimacing and fake gagging, then started yelling "She's got cooties!" (and other stuff along these lines) loudly.

All the other kids looked at me warily and disgustedly, and shuffled away.

As usual, they managed to isolate me from everyone. I just looked on, trying my level best not to cry. Nothing I could do would help the situation any.

"Get off the sandbox," some boy demanded, obviously deciding I was not even worthy of playing in the sandbox. Thus was my dream, finding the treasure, and now they were going to take even that from me?

"No, I wo-won't," I mumbled, trying to hold on to the last shred of dignity I had, and not just give in to the tears.

"Let's throw her out then," Tommy said, sneering viciously at me, like I was that irritating piece of chewed gum under his shoe sole.

The boys came and started pulling me, all the while yelling some taunts like "Ew, you stink!" and "Yuck, you are disgusting!"

All this got to me, and I started crying hard, shaking my head and trying not to get pulled off.

"Look, she's crying. What a loser!" they guffawed at me.

"Hey! What's going on?" I heard a voice from behind the group of bullies.

Although I was very, very scared, a small part of my mind noted, that is a pretty voice, completely detached from the ordeal I was in at that time. I ignored that wayward thought, and concentrated on the troubled expression on the boys' faces. They looked like they were caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Needless to say, I was feeling enormously relieved.

Slowly, they released me and moved away from both me and Celine, the owner of the voice.

"H-hi," I mumbled, hiccupping and trying to stop crying.

"Hey, Ellie," Celine said, smiling in a very pretty way, and then turned around to look at the offenders.

"I asked, what is going on?" she said, sounding all Big Girl-like. The boys slowly shook their heads, edging away from her.

What exactly was so scary about a pretty girl wearing a top with a sparkly butterfly and matching shorts, I didn't know, and I still don't.

"Tell me," she demanded, sounding more like a Big Girl than even last time.

"I…w-we, we're very s-s-sorry!" a boy said hurriedly, and the others nodded along, every last one looking so sorry and scared.

"Ellie, next time we'll come play here all we want together, okay?" she said gently, coming into the sandbox and patting my head, smiling at me in that pretty way of hers, completely ignoring the sniveling boys.

She'd got me even then, I thought wryly, I've never not liked her all the while I've known her.

xxx

"Wakey wakey, sleeping beauty," Celine grinned at me. This was the first sight that greeted me as soon as I managed to blink the sleep out.

Wait, Celine's here! I probably look horrendous! Shit!

Wait, pause just a minute now. How the hell had I managed to sleep with Celine near me, hugging me and close to me and…how?!

Hurriedly I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to make it at least presentable, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. This was a routine I went through every time she slept over, which is honestly, way too often for my health.

"Seriously, why do you even bother? I'm the only one around,"

Only one around? Man, she didn't have to say that, did she? WHY DOES SHE TEST ME SO?!

"Yeah, yeah. Can't I look at least presentable, even if it's just around you?" I said, and nearly winced. My voice was so thick with sleep, it sounded disgusting. Great.

"You certainly don't look…presentable to the public," she said, but her voice had this peculiar, thick quality to it. Y'know the feeling you get when someone scrutinizes you slowly and thoroughly? I felt that too.

And I just felt the heat in the room go up. Trust my hormones to imagine stuff where there isn't any.

"Huh?" I asked, trying to ignore my raging crush on this girl.

"Nothing," she said, sounding normal again. It probably was just her throat needing some clearing.

I ambled into my washroom. Gotta look nice in front of her.

I looked at myself, water dripping down my face as I thought, Celine always did help me when people bullied me and all that. She was my friend when none of the others even wanted to look my way. She didn't even bother about how she could be regarded as a social pariah too, just for hanging out with me. I really don't deserve Celine.

Sigh.

I dried my face and left.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The sleepover went as all the previous ones went, fraught with stress for me, while Celine continued to be the oblivious and unguarded person she is. I swear, she should start guarding herself against people like me. But, me being the selfish person I am, I just let her be, just to enjoy how much ever closeness I can get out of this.

Yet another reason why I will never deserve Celine.

The next day started with me being woken up by Celine tickling me awake (that cruel woman!). And then, as usual, I was a flustered mess, trying to get dressed up well without embarrassing myself any further by being klutzy on top of everything else. I swear, it is a miracle that she's even hanging out with me at this point.

And then she pulls her puppy dog face, saying that she wanted me to do her hair for her today as well, claiming that I was the only person who got the privilege of doing her hair and I should accept the position of Royal Hairdresser with pride and honor. I proudly and honorably rejected the position, but did her hair anyway.

Obviously.

Curse my stupid love for this girl.

Then, after giving me another one of her bear hugs that never failed to get my heart racing, she pranced out of my room in the pursuit of happiness, also known as breakfast.

* * *

"Celine, dear, please don't stuff all the pancakes into your mouth," Mum gently chastised Celine, who was intent on inhaling up the plate of pancakes in front of her. I have no idea whatsoever where she manages to put away all the weight she gains from her food habits. She eats like a pig and still looks as elegant as a model. Or a goddess. Or…

Well, you get the idea.

"Bwah thwif if wo duheefuf!" she replied, miraculously managing to not spit out anything.

"Honey, you probably should eat up and then try to talk. I don't want my new table spread to get dirty," Mum said, and then went to make more pancakes, while humming a cheery tune.

"Damn, these taste heavenly," she said, grinning at me.

My heart, as usual, started sputtering. CAN IT JUST MANAGE TO WORK PROPERLY AROUND HER?! I don't want to die of heart attack or something!

"True that," I murmured, and demurely ate a piece of pancake. What? Can't I try to look good in front of her at least now?

"Look at you, eating like a hoity-toity person," Celine laughed. Her laughter was so unaffected and so beautiful, I'm so going to commit it my memory.

God, I've sunk so low that I'm fangirling over her laugh. Heaven help me.

"Whatever," I rolled me eyes, "What were you trying to say before?" I asked.

"Before? When?" she looked really adorably confused.

"Remember? Bwowo fuf, or whatever," I said, trying to imitate her beautiful dialogue, and then lapsing into a small fit of laughter at the memory of her face then, with cheeks bulging with all that pancake.

"Ah, that, erm, it was… something like, 'It is so delicious,'" she said, looking a bit embarrassed.

I grinned at that. She was totally weak against Mum's cooking, she literally loses it when she sees food made by Mum.

"Is THE Celine Andrews embarrassed?" I teased (all the while trying to calm my unruly heart).

"What? Got a problem with that or something?" she asked, trying to hide her embarrassment. So cute!

"Or something," I said, shaking my head.

While this camaraderie did exist between us, I should hurry up and try to get over her. I can't afford to mess this relationship up with my pathetic feelings that can only be unwanted.

I must do it.

For Celine.

* * *

"Ellie, what's the matter?" Ralph, this really helpful (and a bit cute in a nerdy way) boy who's also my lab partner, asked.

"Uh? What?" I asked, a bit dazed.

Then I realized that I'd accidentally added diluted hydrochloric acid instead of concentrated hydrochloric acid to my control test tube and that it was emitting an uncharacteristic white vapor. I messed up. For the fourth time in this period. Hallelujah.

Truth be told, the realization I had today morning kind of jolted me awake. While I never did advance upon Celine or anything, I was being unfair to her anyway. She trusts me enough to confide about quite a lot of things, and I'm the position of playing her by her weaknesses. What if I slip up and actually try to warp the relationship she's in at that moment and…

I can't do that to her!

She literally was my savior, my friend, my confidante (as much as I could afford to confide in her), my first love, my everything!

I cannot be given with such a position of trust unless I change my attitude towards her.

But the very thought of having to relinquish my love for her, it hurts so much.

And this also shows how much I've let myself be spoiled by her kindness and goodwill. This can't go on any longer.

So I tried to come up with a plan.

Which left me super preoccupied with my mental workings that I was even clumsier than usual.

"Aurelia, what's wrong?" Ralph repeated. He even used my formal name, he must be really worried.

He's really sweet! Man, if I hadn't loved Celine I think I would…

"I, err, I…WAIT! I got it!" I said, my plan rapidly forming. This was literally one of the most foolproof ideas ever! Nothing could possibly go wrong (my heart would break, but that's bound to happen anyway)!

"Thanks, Ralph!" I exclaimed, gave him a high five, and set to finalizing the details of the plan.

Shrugging, he muttered, "You're welcome, I guess," and went back to doing whatever he was doing.

* * *

"Hey, Ellie, what's up?" Celine asked, practically beaming at me.

Did she do that to everyone who came up to her? Smile so brightly?

I've never let myself go any closer to her in class (or at home, for that matter) and so, this was my first time even wading through the populace in the class and going to Celine. Usually she just drops by where I sit, talk to me a while, wheedle out my homework or something at times, and then goes.

"I-I um, I'd l-li-like t-to-" I started stuttering quite a bit and my cheeks started to flush with embarrassment, feeling like everyone there was judging me and what I was doing next to their precious Celine.

How lucky they were, they get to stake their claims on Celine. How I wish I was one of them.

"Yo, guys, I got something very important to do now, see you all later," she said cheerfully to her friends. One of her close friends, Jade or something, glared a bit at me, and then looked away.

"How about we go to some other place? You don't seem very comfortable there," Celine said to me gently, slightly patting my back, trying her best to reassure me, while leading me away from the people there, who were probably laughing at my pathetic attempts at talking.

Why was she such a nice person? Why? God! This is so difficult!

I will stick to my plan, however.

"What is it, sweetie?" Celine asked, peering at my face ( _sweetie_. She called me **sweetie**. My heart! ARGH!), looking concerned and worried.

"Uh, I er, I kindalikethisguy," I rushed out in a fit of pure nervousness.

There, I did it. Took the first step in my plan.

* * *

 **A/N: I kinda wanted Ellie to burst out singing "Reflection" from Mulan in that breakfast scene XD**

 **As always, read and review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Maybe this wasn't the best thing I could have done. Shit. Can I-

"What? Sorry, I couldn't catch that," she said, looking a weirdly pretty mixture of confusion and concern.

"I-I may have a-a…crush," I hedged in. This whole thing feels weird. But, in for a penny, in for a pound, as the Britons say.

"You d-do?" she asked looking surprised and…something else, I can't quite figure out what.

"Er, yeah. On Ralph, the guy who sits next to me. You know what? This is stupid. I should be able to deal with this myself. It's just that...oh, forget it. I'm sorry to have troubled you with this-" I started babbling out a torrent.

"Ellie, honey, you don't have to be sorry, I'm glad you came to me with this." She said, but her face looked just a bit crestfallen.

Realization struck me with the impact of a bus filled with hippos running over me repeatedly. "Wait, if you like Ralph or anything, I can try to forget him, that's not a problem, I'm sorry for-" I started. What if _Celine_ liked Ralph? Not only was I not being fair to our relationship as friends, I probably even nearly made Celine give up her true love for me (because she's such a nice, beautiful human being). Oh god!

"No, no. I don't like him, no offence to him; I haven't still managed to get my One, that's not the problem,"

"There's a problem? Oh, I-"

"The only problem is that you sit there, worrying incessantly about everything and everybody but you. You are literally one of the best things in my life," she said, looking at me seriously, like she wanted me to understand exactly what she was saying, "Please, don't put yourself down. You are precious. Okay?"

"Okay," I said, dumbstruck. She'd told me that I was one of the best things in her life. Even if she was just lying (I mean, I'm just me, nothing special. Certainly nothing Celine would term _precious_ , like, she's Celine, for Pete's sake!), if god asked me to choose a moment to die, this would be it. Literally, I feel like I'm floating on clouds.

I have to give up on Celine, my mind decided to prompt me. And spoiled the joy I had bubbling up in my heart at her declaration.

"So, er, what do I do now? Like, what does one do when in such a position? God, this is so embarrassing. I'm like, 18, and I'm still such a dolt," I sighed after yet another long and completely pointless bout of blabbering. I couldn't have made Celine any more annoyed.

"Look, it's okay to not know what to do when you like someone and don't know what to do about it, and you are NOT bothering me by telling me this. If anything, I'm elated that you chose to confide in me about this and…and I will do everything in my power to make you happy." Celine said, though the last bit of her sentence sounded a bit…weary. Why? Maybe I was troubling her? But no, Celine isn't like that.

And wow, that was such a beautiful speech! I'm so moved to think that she kind of understands the plight I'm supposedly in.

...Oh my god! What if she is pining over someone? That'd explain how she understood my situation. Great. Now even if I were a guy, I would never ever get Celine.

I really should try to forget these feelings. Now. ASAP.

* * *

"Okay, now you like this guy, Ralph. What about him made you want to be with him?" Celine asked.

Celine decided that, to help me along with this 'crush' of mine, she was going to get all the details during our free period. Usually I spent it in the library so I could zone out and dream about Celine in peace, but today was a lot more different. We were currently sitting under the clichéd ancient oak tree in the campus, with green grass all around us, and a few scraggly weeds waving gently in the warm breeze, and the sun shining down upon us gently from the clear blue sky. If this were a cliché love story, I would currently have Celine's head on my lap, and I'd be gently stroking her hair, while we just sat in peace, maybe talking or humming, or just enjoying each other's company.

But was that what happened? No.

Celine sat right opposite to me, and was relentlessly demanding to know the all the possible facts about my 'crush' on Ralph. That poor boy was just my lab rat for my plan to give up Celine.

And the worst part was, I HADN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT COMES NEXT AND DOVE RIGHT INTO THIS MESS! HOW DUMB _CAN_ I POSSIBLY BE? As it turns out, _**very**_ dumb.

"Er, at first…it was the, um, the way he, er, always tried to help me out at school," I said, looking everywhere but at her. Way to be convincing, Ellie.

"At first?" she asked.

Stupid me, digging my own grave even further. What do I say now?

"Uh, then I started to notice the way he…he behaved around people, all sunny and warm and happy, and then the way he never let the fact that he was well liked, kind of, to get to him," I decided to just pretend that Ralph was Celine and tell her what I thought about her, "And the way he always was concerned for others, the way he smiles, the way he holds her- er, himself, and…erm, isn't this enough?" I asked, (it was getting too mushy, even for me) and finally looked away from the patch of grass I'd been telling all this to and looked at Celine.

I knew she'd been looking at me, listening to me intently, but I did NOT expect to see the expression on her face. She was looking at me with this intensity, her hazel eyes looking right into mine. Like she was trying to read all the secrets I'd buried deep within myself. And yet, she also looked oddly hurt. Not like a physical pain, her face wasn't all pinched up, it was like the pain of not having something she wanted. Maybe it was her wish to find her One and experience all these feelings. Or maybe she did find the One and was pining over him.

I blinked and looked away again, this time at a point above her right shoulder. I couldn't handle the strange atmosphere that had developed in the momentary lull in our conversation. My hormones can make everything super weird and _confusing._

"Yes, it was quite a list," she said, hollowly.

"Er, yeah, sorry," I mumbled. Maybe it was too detailed and she's onto me? Oh man, I really do suck at lying.

"What did I tell you?" she said, sounding a lot more like herself than she had this whole while.

"Huh?" I asked, confused. What did she tell me?

"About being sorry?" Celine prompted me, like I was a kindergartener.

"Oh, yeah, not to be sorry for everything," I muttered sheepishly.

"Good girl," she said, smiling gently although her eyes still looked sorrowful, and patted my head.

Just like those old times, when she'd helped me out of all the scrapes I'd gotten into, and just patted my head and then hugged me, stroking my back comfortingly.

My eyes started to tear up. I know I'm never going to be worthy of her, but couldn't I be someone she would want? Someone who she'd turn to for help, someone who would be able to banish away her every fear and give her whatever she wished for? Well, no, I can never be that person for her.

I will try to support her in every way I can, and I will give up on her, even if it leaves me broken or hurting. That's the only thing I can do for her, in return for all that she's done for me.

"Hey, I'm not a small kid," I said, while I looked at my knees and blinked away the forming tears, "Stupid woman!"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm stupid," she said, breaking out of the melancholic air surrounding us by teasing me, "Whatever you say, oh mature one."

"Hey-!"

"Well," she cut me off, "Let's go back to your crush on Ralph."

* * *

"I couldn't do it," I said, feigning disappointment.

Celine got it into her head that I should go and fess up about my 'feelings' to Ralph, and set up the situation about like three times already. The first time was at the library, where I had to pretend to chicken out and shoved a book at him and walked right out. The second was near the lockers during class, where I had to divert the topic 'in a fit of panic' and got out of it. The last one was by far the weirdest. I had to stake out the guys' washroom and tell him about my feelings for him as soon as he came out. I didn't even bother agreeing to that one. This time, I had to sit with him in the cafeteria and announce my feelings to him. Needless to say, I 'couldn't gather the guts to go and sit near him'.

"What happened this time?" she asked, although she wasn't disappointed or anything. She's so patient and kind! She deserves only the best of the best!

"I chickened out," I said, glumly.

I was supposed to be working hard at forgetting my feelings for Celine, not enjoying the new found time I had with her and acting like I was super nervous and get out of her brilliant solutions for my problems. Why did I still do this?

"Well, I was kind of expecting this to happen," she said, oddly solemn, "We move on to my masterplan."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I waited for her to elaborate.

"If he doesn't already have a crush on you, which is quite doubtable, make him have a crush on you," she said, and looked at me, expectantly.

"You….want me to force him to go out with me?!" I asked incredulously. And given that this is Celine, that may very well be what she was planning. She was a bit wacky sometimes.

"What? No!" Thank god that wasn't what she was planning.

"The plan was, to make you look all hot and seductive. The dude won't stand a chance," she continued, and then smirked (quite sexily, in my opinion), "You up for it, kid?"

"Who are you calling a kid?" I asked, and then realized this is exactly what she wanted. For me to get distracted and agree to it.

"Oh, that's not going to work on me now, Celine," I said, "What are you thinking? That's going to be extremely difficult to accomplish!"

Well, getting me to look decent was an uphill task, let alone 'hot and seductive', what was she THINKING?!

"Aurelia," she said, and my heart nigh gave out and I just about died with all the shivers running down my spine (and was her voice a bit more husky? Nah, it's probably just my wishful thinking), "How are you so oblivious?"

She even had the gall to look and sound frustrated. I aint the one so oblivious to my own charms, unlike Celine.

"What-"

"How do you not know the effect you…the way you appeal to m-...everyone?" she asked. She looked like she couldn't decide on what she wanted to say. Which wasn't surprising considering that she had to make up some lies just to console me. but I gotta give it to her, she really is convincing when she wants to be. And my stupid hormones are on a goddamn rampage and my cheeks are burning up. Great.

"Celine, you don't have to force yourself, I'm not going to take any offence if you want to tell me that you think it's an uphill task, too. I mean, I've tried putting makeup on my face and I ended up looking way worse than before,"

As soon as I mentioned my applying makeup, that strained air that had developed just vanished as she burst into peals and peals of laughter, most likely remembering that time when I'd tried to imitate some eyeliner thing from some makeup tutorial video, and failed epically. I was supposed to get 'dreamily smokey eyes', I ended up looking like a raccoon who decided to put some glitter around its eyes. It was horrendous.

"That's because you put the makeup by yourself, and while you can be quite talented at some things, you suck at putting makeup," she said, trying to stop laughing so hard, "Unlike you, I'm quite talented."

"Sure, whatever you say," I said, my heart flipping at the sight of her laughing so naturally. That girl's laugh (and everything else) really is something to be reckoned with.

"Come along, my beauty expert, we got class now," she chuckled and went to the next class (French) which we shared, so I followed her after trying to calm my heart and nerves because she'd called me **_her_** beauty expert; although she was just joking, but still! Celine is not good for my health.

* * *

After school got over, Celine dragged me along with her and to go shopping for clothes and makeup and stuff.

'And stuff' included accessories, contacts and LINGERIE. Apparently, my underwear choices over the years really had not impressed her, and I was forced to try all sorts of new fangled things that made me feel like I was a child trying on Big Girl stuff. I suspect she's doing this just to get me more flustered and embarrassed.

At least Celine's happy (how she couldn't feel the awkwardness I was practically emanating is beyond me).

* * *

"Okay, so we got the dressing part done," Celine said, looking at me appreciatively, while I stood awkwardly in the brand new corset we'd bought. I chose to wear a long sleeved black lacey tee underneath the corset, because I did NOT want to look like a wannabe slut. Thigh high black leather boots (and some choice accessories that lent the look a pop of color) completed my outfit.

I'm not going to lie, the outfit managed to make body look attractive in ways I never imagined possible in this lifetime. Now I merely looked like a nerd's head photoshopped onto a wannabe model's body, unlike my usual look of potato.

Then she unceremoniously whisked me away from the mirror I was admiring myself (what? I don't get to look attractive all the time!) and made me sit in the chair in front of her dresser. It was currently cluttered with all the cosmetics that she'd bought yesterday for this thing. We must've blown away at least a couple of hundreds for this plan. And it wasn't even for something true. I will fall in love with Ralph just for the amount of work Celine put into this.

"Unlike a certain somebody who has zero make up skills," she said, looking at me snidely, "I won't make you look like a cross between a zombie and a train wreck."

"Hey! That was once!"

"Isn't once enough for a lifetime, Ellie?"

...Yeah, it was.

"Look, I'm going to just highlight your features, make them more flauntable, so relax," she said, soothingly, when she saw how stiffened up I was (don't blame me. I just have bad experience with makeup).

I gave in, deciding to enjoy the fleeting touches she made on my skin and hair on last time.

* * *

I looked into the dresser's mirror, looking but not seeing. Celine had performed a huge miracle alright. My usually frizzy and unmanageable hair was tamed into pretty, shiny and smooth ringlets, my face showed off angles and planes I had never seen before, my lips were highlighted and somehow made to look pouty and soft and kissable and my eyes looked just the right amount of subtly dramatic to set off the whole look beautifully. The power of cosmetics in the right hands is indeed formidable.

But for all that, my mind still kept going back to that time when Celine was doing my eye makeup. She'd held my face in her hands, tilted my face to look up at her. While she probably hadn't thought anything of it, the gesture seemed so intimate and so, so _loving_. I couldn't help but think, 'This is the last time I can ever experience such closeness with her,' and all of a sudden, Celine just stilled her movements, looking into my eyes with a keen, piercing and searching gaze, seemingly delving into the very essence of my being. Like she could read my erratic thoughts, feel my heart speed up its pace as she held my gaze. I had to pull myself out of the hypnotic trance she'd put on me, and managed to summon up a fake-as-fake-could-be cough and looked away, knowing that I would be unable to keep up the pretence of liking Ralph and not her any longer if she continued. There was a tension surrounding us, thick and palpable. I cleared my throat again, and heard her make a slight huff.

Then she wordlessly continued to apply the makeup that lay there on the dresser table, abandoned till now (god knows how many products she'd put on my face already). She stopped her banter, I noticed. Maybe she was tired of putting so much effort into me and just wanted this to get over with. I won't hold it against her if she did, anyway.

"Well, you are all set for your date with…with Ralph," she murmured, her voice surprisingly emotionless. Well that broke me out of my reverie.

"A date?" I had no idea what she had planned to do after dolling me up, but I hadn't even considered the possibility of going on a date with him.

Wait, what was I supposed to do to get him to go on a date with me? Was I supposed to wait till tomorrow in this getup? Was I supposed to somehow come across his address and go to his place and drag him on a date?

"I already arranged for him to go on a date with you," she explained, probably to my words as well the expressions on my face.

"How?"

"How indeed," she muttered, then gave me a long, lingering once over. Then she took a deep breath.

"Okay, okay. You are ready." She said, shakily.

I then realized what it meant. What all the weird behavior she'd been exhibiting all this while meant.

She was worried for me, like a parent or an over-protective elder sibling! I have no idea what I'd done to gain such an amazingly helpful and supportive person like her in my life, and like an ungrateful person, I keep wishing for more.

"Thank you," I said, nearly overcome with emotion. The feelings of gratitude welling up in me was warring with the feelings of love and guilt I always had carried around. The fact that I was going to give her up for real in a few minutes didn't help my case.

"Thank you?" she echoed, looking surprised, "What have I done for you to thank me?"

"For all this. For being so supportive. For being there for me, always." I muttered.

She murmured something so lowly, I couldn't hear what she said.

"Huh?"

"I said," she said, taking a deep breath and then giving me a weary smile, "I would always be there for you. To…support you."

We stared at each other. I had no idea what she was thinking, and for once, I didn't pause to analyze it. I drank her face in, the ease with which she commandeered the room, the way she stood, everything. I committed everything to my memory. This was the last time, after all.

"I guess I forgot to give you this," she said as she passed a slip of paper in my hand, then backed away.

"I have to go now," she said hollowly, after a final searching glance.

Then she turned, and went to the door.

My mind went blank.

* * *

 **A/N: OMFG ELLIE WHY ARE YOU SO OBTUSE?! WHY?! ASKFKSOSND**

 **^Probably shouldn't be asking that because I wrote this story, but still! ㅎ** **_ㅎ**

 **Dammit, Ellie!**

 **Also, please do read and review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Yay, we've come to the most angsty part of this story!**

 **Anyway, read and review y'all!**

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

Then she turned, and went to the door.

My mind went blank.

I think think the paper slip she gave me had the date's venue scrawled on it, but I have no recollection of it now.

All I could hear was a dull roar. I felt cold and bereft all of a sudden.

Numb.

'I can't do this,' my mind whispered, agonized.

My chest felt like it was constricting.

Celine deserves so much more, but I can't bear to away from her. I CAN'T.

Then, I have no idea when I'd decided to move, but I was there, holding back Celine's arm, just before she could open the door and walk out. Because I knew; one way or another, things will never be the same again, for better or for worse.

"What-?" she asked, shakily, as she just froze. Like a statue.

"Can't I appeal to you even now? Even like this?" I whispered, my voice cracking. I felt a tear drop from my eye. I was crying, I realized numbly. I wasn't sobbing or anything, it was just tears flowing out of my eyes and this unbearable pain in my chest.

Then I realized what had just happened. What I'd said. What I'd done.

There was no going back.

I dropped my arm, let it dangle by my side.

Almost like this was a horror movie, she stiffly and slowly turned around to look at me.

"What," she wet her lips, then continued softly, " _What_ did you say?"

She was whispering, and had I not been as close to her as I was, I wouldn't have caught it.

"I-" I tried to somehow save this situation, but mind was absolutely BLANK.

"Why do you want to appeal to me?" she asked softly, moving infinitesimally closer to me.

"I didn't…I don't..." I broke away, realizing that even my words had deserted me. I shook my head, trying to tell her to stay away. I couldn't keep this up any longer. I had absolutely worn down.

"Tell me," she breathed, moving even closer, "Aurelia."

"I CAN'T!" I burst out. I saw her still for a minute, taken aback by this sudden outburst.

The way my name rolled from her tongue set all my nerve endings on fire. I've got to ignore my traitorous body and try to get past this somehow.

"Why **NOT**?!" she asked, looking confused and sad, and most of all, very, very hurt.

Something snapped in me at that. I was pushed to my limits and then some more.

"I like you," I whispered brokenly, as my vision became blurred with my tears. I'd done it.

Absolutely wrecked it. Like a wrecking ball crashing into a cheesecake.

"You…what?" she breathed out, sounding not disgusted, but wondering.

It hadn't registered yet, I realized.

"You like… _me_?" she asked.

Slowly, I nodded. If I couldn't salvage this, the least I could do was come out clean. I owed her at least so much.

"I've liked, no, loved you for so long now," I sighed, "I tried to back off, to give you space. To stop tainting your life."

Well, paint my nails black and call me emo. I sure felt like one at that point. I mean, here I am, spilling my deepest secrets, to the object of ny desires. I felt so naked and vulnerable after saying it out loud.

"Why?" she was so close to me now, I could feel her body warmth emanate from her.

"Everything you did made me love you more, Celine." I said, tears springing to eyes, "I'm sorry."

"But, Ralph...?" she asked, barely audible.

"I lied to you...to keep myself from potentially damaging our friendship," I said with a bitter smile, "But I still managed to damage it anyhow,"

I waited for her to hit me, or bash me up. Or leave me and walk out forever. I knew I was seconds away from being heartbroken, so I just hoped it would get over soon so I could nurse my broken heart by myself faster.

Her hands lightly brushed my cheeks (which is not what I was expecting. Maybe she regretted wasting all that time and money on the cosmetics and dressing me up), before gently holding my face, pulling my face up to look at her. Even now she didn't hurt me.

She looked into my eyes, long and deep, her eyes holding a peculiar expression.

I closed my eyes. I couldn't watch her judging me like this.

I felt her hair softly brush my face, and then, the most INCREDIBLE thing happened.

Celine was KISSING me. Not a peck on the cheek or even a peck on the lips, but a full blown kiss.

I couldn't respond for a few seconds because of sheer shock, and I felt Celine slow down and pull away. That jolted me into action. I desperately pulled her back to me and tried to move my lips the way she did, having no prior experience in kissing. If she was going to be kind enough to kiss me out of pity, I wasn't going to waste that opportunity.

She slid one hand to the back of my head to kiss me better, while her other arm snaked around my body, pulling me even closer so we were flushed together.

I whimpered, and then tried to pull her even closer to me. This was heaven. Had I died and gone to heaven? Maybe this was all a dream. But never have my dreams been so vivid and lifelike.

"My lovely, sweet Aurelia," she breathed, stroking my cheeks, when we finally stopped kissing due to sheer lack of breath, "How I've longed to do this,"

"You…what?" I asked, gasping for breath because of that kiss, while my mind reeled at what she just said.

"I said I had waited for a _**long**_ while now, for this," she grinned, but she slowly sobered up after seeing my confused face. I mean, none of that made _sense_! Celine wanted this too?

"Wait, did you think I was kissing you because I **pitied** you?" she asked, the glowing smile she'd been giving me slowly draining out. And was replaced with absolutely nothing, but a steely poker face. Something I'd never thought I'd ever see her give me. Her face of absolute anger.

"Celine? What's wrong?" I asked hesitantly, not liking this one bit. What was I doing wrong?

"I don't know, how about you try telling me what's wrong?" her voice was calm, like the eerie calm before a HUGE storm.

"I-I don't kn-know," I said, scared. Her eyes were hard, none of the usual warmth in them. What have I done?!

"You thought," she said, struggling not to outright yell at me, "You thought that I would _kiss_ you, because I **pitied** you?"

"Yes...I mean, no. I mean, I thought that you kissed me because…because we're close friends, and-"

"How could you think so low of me? Do you think I do this with just _anyone_?!" she asked, her hands visibly shaking from trying to keep the anger in.

"No, but-"

"But WHAT?!" she all but roared, "I am **NOT** like this with any _friend_! I am not like this with **_ANYONE ELSE!_** Period. Hell, I haven't looked at you as a friend in a long while now."

"Y-you haven't?" I asked, confused. This made no sense to me. What was she trying to say? That I wasn't even a friend to her?

"Not in that sense you **DOLT**. I haven't considered you as _just_ a friend; **_you_** are the One for me. I never did search for anyone to be that person, I knew it was you from the very beginning. And I kept dropping hints and YOU NEVER GOT IT! Which is why I kept dating all those guys, to try to move on from you. But, the funny thing is even _those_ guys figured out that I was still completely and utterly in love with you!" She laughed bitterly.

She dropped hints?! WHEN?! And what was that about her **_LOVING_** me? Obviously, she could see the confusion play out on my face, becaue she then said,

"You are **SO. FREAKING. OBLIVIOUS**! Like a freaking **brick**! Did it never occur to you that I would be interested in you? Did you just imagine the scenario in your head and **ASSUME** that I wouldn't be interested in you and just keep it yourself? Do you have **ANY** idea _how_ tough it was for me to read ANYTHING from all those mixed signals you sent my way?! I…I give up." She lowered her voice back to normal in the _end_ of her long rant, and plopped onto the sofa standing near, massaging the bridge of her nose. She looked tired to the core of her being.

I finally realized that if I thought I had it bad, she must have had it even worse. She kept putting herself out there, trying to let me know that she was interested in me, and I was oblivious and so wrapped up in myself that I never once bothered to consider her an option.

I really, really misjudged her.

I went over to her, and sat down next to her and hugged her. it was an awkward hug, me hugging her sideways and her just sitting there. Finally she shifted and hugged me back.

"I'm sorry, Celine. I'm sorry for never noticing your interest in me, weird as that is, and for trying to take your choice away from you," I whispered, resting my chin on her shoulder.

"The worst part was, you kept projecting the image of your childhood hero on me _every single time,_ " she laughed wearily, "And all I could do was to try and play the charmingly gallant girl you wanted me to be. You don't actually even know me, Ellie. Not the real me with my flaws and weaknesses. And **DON'T YOU DARE** give me that self-depreciating crap." She glared at me.

I winced a bit. All of that was true.

"I'm so very sorry. I-it's just that I never actually thought you would ever want to have anything to do with me romantically. I'm just me, nothing special," I mumbled. The whole thing sounded so silly when I put it in words.

"And just because you are 'just you', does that make you any less desirable? Does it take away your charms because you are 'just you'?" she asked, "What if I like you because you were just you? You are special in your own way, Ellie, and I keep telling you this. My heart skips a beat when I see you smile that beautiful smile of yours at me. I feel like energetically fist-pumping the air when you give that look you do when you do anything just for me. Hell, I feel like patting myself on the back when I see that I'm the only one you even deign to be friendly with. I feel elated when I can be your confidante. And every time I wake up to see you all adorably mussed with sleep, god, how I control myself from launching myself at you and ravishing you right then and there!"

My mouth dropped open. What in the world.

What even.

What.

Well, knock me down with a feather now.

"Basically, the essence of my rather long winded speech was, I love you, Aurelia. Just as you are. You are perfect. Everything I've ever wanted or wished for. I've been in love with you for a long while, too." She said, and took my hands in hers, and kissed them. It was chaste kiss, but it set my body on fire.

"I…I don't know what to say," I started after the long pause that ensued.

"You don't have to say anything," she said, with a mischievously sexy grin, "You could just kiss me."

This one request could be met without any objections on my part, feigned or no.

* * *

 **A/N: There is a short epilogue coming up, and that'll mark the end of this story!**

 **I would like to thank all those amazing people who reviewed this story, and my friends who also supported me and gave me the courage to post it online. You guys are amazing and I will always love you!**

 **Peace out.**


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